send me back

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Home safe and sound.

Well, maybe not sound. Maybe a little crazy. Maybe a lot crazy. Send me back to my beach chair! I want to be back in my beach chair!!!!!

I’d forgotten how delightful it is to come home to a tidy home – dishes done, fridge cleaned out, beds not only made but with fresh sheets, all these wonderful gifts to my future self – until I came home to none of it! Don’t get me wrong! Only one Florida trip have I so luxuriously gifted myself like that. But it was last year. And quite wonderful. And quite sorely missed today. 

It’s a bit of a gong show here. I was clearing out the fridge of old dairy products and noticed that the expiry dates were all February. But I left in March. A week into March. That’s a sad reflection on the state of affairs upon our departure. What was going on? Oh yeah. Life was going on. And it was still going on while we timed out. The piles are not only still here, but they’re bigger now.

I wanted coming home to feel like a fresh start. I sort of expected it. But it’s the same old me, same old crap, same old messes, same new ones coming down the pipe. Same struggles looking at the calendar.

It is glaringly obvious to me – FINALLY – I have time management issues. I have the luxury of choosing how I spend my time and the frustration of being really shitty at executing it.

I also have VALUES issues.
And DISTORTED PERSPECTIVE issues.

But the expired dairy products help. And the sand dollar story teaching moment helps. And writing these reflections helps. And somehow, I’m sure of it, going to bed right now – after 23 hours in the car, with half the clocks still on old time, pretty much no groceries in the fridge for school lunches tomorrow, wet laundry in the machine, and all the piles still piling, and a wheel to wake up to tomorrow and keep spinning – somehow, going to bed right now, is going to help.

With love,

Jules

PS I forgot to check in on Lent. Day 20 – My Enneagram. Number 2: The Helper. F@%k Enneagram. 🙂

Sleep tight.

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