pearly off-whites

oh jules,

there is nothing like going to the dentist to make me feel small.

(remember that time you gave me floss?)

how do you do it? be a parent? an adult?

how do you manage to feed kids, have them brush their teeth AND get them to the dentist regularly?

i have no idea why basic hygiene is such a struggle for me – but i cannot seem to remember to floss my teeth.

flossing represents all of those adult responsibilities that i just can’t quite seem to get on board with. and when i fail at them – get late fees on my visa bill or discover cavities – then i can’t help feel like i’m failing at life (at least a little bit).

i sat in the chair with my annual chipped toenail polish, my leggings covered in chalk dust, and my hair still slightly singed. and i felt like a dirty little kid enduring yet another patronizing lecture on flossing and cavity prevention. except this time, i have to pay the bill (another adult fail – my student insurance only covers cleaning every 12 mths and my eager dentist called me in at 9mths – and of course, a responsible adult would have CHECKED first) …

but, i could see my dirty toes because i was wearing birks on a sunny day. my hair is singed from a beautiful process. and my leggings are dirty from climbing.

and my insurance at least covered a bit. and i at least have the money in the bank to pay (reluctantly) for this privilege of dental hygiene.

so i need to shift my focus. move back to gratitude. make the decision to smile with my (very) off-white teeth and let it go.

i find these moments so de-moralizing – it is the tiny minutia of life that wears away at the enamel of my self-confidence.

but it is also the minutia of life that fortifies my soul.

so here we are again – back to the little things.

how are you feeling as you prepare to return? what are you leaving behind? what are you importing?


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